God has a very big hat, but He doesn’t wear it much anymore because it makes Him seem too tall. Every once in a while, He will put it on for an hour or so and walk around. The angels will look up and say, “Is He getting taller, or is it just the hat?”

One day He dropped the hat and it fell all the way to earth. That was the last thing the dinosaurs ever saw.

I made a copy of this hat one time, though it was much smaller, maybe 1/1,000,000,000,000 scale. One day I was wearing my God Hat replica and an unexpected gust of wind blew it off my head. It rolled down the street like a runaway train. Sparks flew everywhere. Birds fell silently from the sky. The sun stood still. The oceans turned to blood.

I never saw it again. It still gives me nightmares. I wake up looking for my hat.

I think God was trying to tell me something, but I’m not sure what.

© 2002 Kona Lowell